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ΩMan NarratingΦ
This is Michael Bluth.

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For 10 years, he's worked
for his father's company...

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waiting to be made a partner.

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And right now, he's happy.

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- This is Michael's mother.
- Look what they've done, Michael.

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She isn't happy.

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Look what the homosexuals
have done to me.

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You can't just comb that out
and reset itΠ

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Currently, she's upset that her
husband's retirement party...

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is being upstaged by a group
of gay protesters.

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We're hereΞ We're queerΞ
We want to get married on the oceanΞ

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Everything they do
is so dramatic and flamboyant.

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It just makes me
want to set myself on fire.

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{ SighsΦ
Good grief, Mother.

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Not all homosexuals
are flamboy...

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Oh, my GodΞ I have
the exact same blouse.

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This is Michael's twin sister, Lindsay.

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I like it better on him.

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As a youthful act of defiance,
Lindsay married...

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this man.

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They moved to Boston,
where they've become celebrated...

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for their wine and cheese
fund-raisers.

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Oh, no.
I'm completely stuffed.

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Michael and his sister
haven't spoken in a year.

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Neither has acknowledged this.

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And this is Gob,
Michael's oldest brother.

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ΩMichaelΦ
So, this is the magic trick, huhΠ

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Illusion, Michael. A trick is something
a whore does for money.

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Or candy.

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ΩNarratorΦ Gob recently started
the Alliance of Magicians...

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an organization that blackballs
any performer...

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who reveals a magician's secret.

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And finally there's Buster...

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- Hey, Buster.
- the youngest of Michael's siblings.

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You know, you don't need
to do that, buddy. It's okay.

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Thanks to the family's largesse,
Buster has studied everything...

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from Native American
tribal ceremonies...

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to cartography, the mapping
of uncharted territories.

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Hasn't everything already

[...]
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