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Okay, let's see.

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Looks like Harvard definitely has the smallest class sizes.

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Okay, we've got our first entry here.

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It's a pro for Harvard.

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Whoa, those are not the final official pro/con lists.

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Why? What's wrong with them?

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The lines are crooked, the printing's all sloppy.

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Harvard, Princeton and Yale cannot see them looking like that.

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They're not going to see our pro/con lists.

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What if they subpoena them?

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Then I'll roll 粗m up in a ball and eat 粗m.

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Oh, a big pro for Yale

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they have 1100 members of the maintenance staff.

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Clean, clean, clean.

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All three of these places probably have the same number.

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But Yale must be crowing about it for some reason.

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Princeton might only have two.

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- Two?
- Yeah.

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You think there're a total of two guys cleaning all of Princeton?

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Write "Princeton's stinking filthy" in big letters.

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Yeah, I'm pretending to write it as we speak.

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Good morning, ladies. May I interest you in a shirt?

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Oh, Kirk. You're not selling your laundry again, are ya?

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No, these are part of my latest money-making endeavor.

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I'm going to print daily T-shirts featuring a humorous topical headline

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of something I witness around town.

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Neat.

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I got the idea when I read about something a man was doing in Portland.

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What was he doing?

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He was printing daily T-shirts featuring a humorous topical headline

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of something he witnessed around town.

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- Is that today's?
- Sure is.

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"Babette ate oatmeal."

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- I'm keeping it real.
- It's good.

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It paints a picture.

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I can just see her... eating oatmeal.

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They're $14.95. How many can I put you down for?

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No solicitors, Kirk.

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How about if I cut you in for a piece of the action?

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How about I toss the shirts out the door first

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so you can have something to land on?

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Got it.

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What's with the lists?

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You ready? My Rory, our Rory, Stars
[...]
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