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Tired of the same old you?

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Tired of being out of shape
and out of luck with the opposite sex?

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Tired of being overweight
and under-attractive?

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Yeah.

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Oh, hello.

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I'm White Goodman, owner, operator
and founder of Globo Gym America Corp.

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I'm here to tell ya that you don't have
to be stuck with what you've got.

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Hey, Rory. Looking good.

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At Globo Gym we that understand "ugliness"
and "fatness" are genetic disorders,

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much like baldness or necrophilia,

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and it's only your fault if you don't hate
yourself enough to do something about it.

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That's where we come in.

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Globo Gym employs
a highly trained, quasi-cultural staff

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of personal alteration specialists.

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With our competitively priced
onsite cosmetic surgery,

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we can turn that Frankenstein
you see in the mirror every morning

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into a Franken-fine.

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Of course, you'll still be you
in a legal sense,

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but think of it as a thinner,
more attractive, better you

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than you could ever become without us.

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How do I know?
Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym,

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I'm also a client.

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That's me, six years and 600lbs ago,
before I knew how much I hated myself.

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That all changed once I founded Globo Gym.

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But don'tjust take my word for it. Listen
to these Globo gymers tell you how it is...

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That feels good.

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Oh, the tickle machine.

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Crash, no. Crash, out.

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Bad dog. No grundle.

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Come on down and join the winning team,

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because here at Globo Gym,
we're better than you.

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And we know it.

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Spare me.

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Mr La Fleur, this is Doris
from the Department of Water and Power.

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We've been trying to reach you,
but your phone was disconnected.

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We'll be shutting off
your water and power at 5pm today

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due to an eight-month overdue account.
Thank you and have a nice day.

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This is Seth from Videorama.
The following DVDs are now overdue.

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Drunken Hussies 3, Backdoor Patrol 5
and Mona Lisa Smile. Thank you.


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Come on, baby, be there.
Be there.

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It's g
[...]
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