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Everybody's heard the old joke
how do you get to Carnegie Hall;

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practice, man, practice.

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Well, like most people,
I did all my practicing at home

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in my own neighborhood.

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I grew up on the Upper West Side
of New York City,

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General Grant was one
of my neighbors.

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I had a lot of fun
in my neighborhood,

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I did a lot of practicing.

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And sooner or later,
I just wanted to get downtown

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to show them what I could do.

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And I had to find out
how to get there.

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In New York City if you don't
know how to get somewhere,

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all you gotta do is ask
somebody, they'll tell ya,

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even if they don't know.

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Hey, tell me something,
you got a secondΠ

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Uh-huh.

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How do you get to Carnegie HallΠ

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I don't know,
I gonna really tell you.

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I don't know how
to get to Carnegie Hall.

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Yeah, you from around hereΠ

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Uh, yeah,
I live right there, man.

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I don't even know
where I am now,

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how the hell could I tell you
how to get to Carnegie Hall.

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How do you get to Carnegie HallΠ

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From hereΠ

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Well, no, from the moon.

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Take the bus up on the corner
there down to 57th Street,

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get off there,
that's a block walk.

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Can't I take the subway hereΠ

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Got a gun permitΠ

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Take the plane.

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Take the planeΠ
The 59th Street planeΠ

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Well, that depends on which way
you wanna go.

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Well, all I can say, you can
take a car down there.

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Take the bus, it'll leave you
right in front of there.

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Okay.

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I don't know the number,
but I get there.

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Jump on a cab, tell the man
to take you downtown,

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you ain't got no bread,
just jump out.

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How do you get to Carnegie HallΠ

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Yeah.

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Well, if you don't have a car,
you use subway.

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And then if you don't have
money, you hop the turnstile.

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You hop...

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Hop the turnstile.

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Then if you're for real,
you go to court.
[...]
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