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I love this one. 'Marble Arch at Dawn,
by Rodney Trotter, aged 14 and a half.' Oh!

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What's this bit?
Did you paint something out?

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Yeah, the Eiffel Tower.

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The Eiffel Tower? Behind Marble arch?
Is that meant to signify something?

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Yes. It signifies that originally it was the Arc de Triomphe,
but no one could spell the Arc de Triomphe.

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So I thought-I know, I'll stick a double-decker bus
going past and say it's Marble Arch.

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And it worked. In fact my art teacher said
in my school report he thought it was a master-piece.

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So how does it feel to be
in the company of a genius?

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If I ever find out I'll drop
you a line!

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Are you going to pour that
or paint it?

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Rodney, I know I'm going to make myself look very stupid,
but does this baked bean label mean anything?

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Yes, it does! It means Del's been putting
all his competition stuff in my portfolio again!

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What competition?

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Oh it's his latest line, innit?
He's going in for any competition he can get his hands on.

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We've had spot the ball, spot the mistake,
spot the dog, everything!

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Oh look at this lot! Spaghetti 'oop labels,
crisp packets, Maltesers wrappers!

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I didn't think Del was the type
to go in for competitions.

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Oh yeah. At the moment he's on the verge
of winning a brand-new Ford Sierra,

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a free manicure for a year
and a night out with Maria Whittaker.

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Where is Del?

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Oh, both he and Albert have
got dates this evening.

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Del's seeing some bird called Petula.
He chatted her up at a boot sale.

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And who's Albert going out
with?

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Ah, some old dear called Elsie Partridge.
He met her at bingo. She's a widow I think.

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She's got 11 children!

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Eleven kids!

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Then her husband got fed up and died.

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- D'you like smoked salmon?
- Love it.

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Good, 'cos they
[...]
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