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Hey, Bobbie, I just got your message.

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I can't believe they want me
on Inside the Actors Studio.

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It's a real honor. I'm so proud of you.
Why don't we talk about...

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...what clips you're gonna use.

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Actually, I had a cool idea.

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I thought the aspiring actors in
the crowd...

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...might like to see
some of my unsuccessful auditions.

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It'll show them that even a great actor
doesn't get every part he's up for.

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Joey Tribbiani, King Kong screen test.

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Action.

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Sir, sir, you know you're not reading
for the part of the ape.

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That one wasn't as good
as I remembered.

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Oh, here's a good one.

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Joey Tribbiani, Capote screen test.

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Action.

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I'm Truman Capote.

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I understand that you and your brother
were involved in a heinous crime.

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Thank you.

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Batman Begins screen test.

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Action.

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Who are youΠ

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I'm the Batman.

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I'm bringing Gotham dark justice.

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Boy, I really locked into
that Capote voice.

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I like it.

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Hey, what should I say
when James Lipton asks me this questionΨ

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"If there is a God, what do you want him
to say when you get to heavenΠ"

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How about, "Hi, Joey. I'm God.
Can you teach me how to be awesomeΠ"

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That's not bad.

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- Don't you get nervous in front of a groupΠ
- No.

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For the first time, I have to give
a closing argument and I'm freaking out.

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Well, I'm an actor, and I actually have
a proven cure for stage fright.

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Although, it is somewhat sexual
in nature.

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- What is itΠ
- Having sex.

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- Joey...
- I've helped...

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...a number of actresses
get over their stage fright.

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A night with me has also been known
to cure a fear of flying...

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...and in one instance, appendicitis.

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Well, I appreciate the offer,
but I told you, I need more time.

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I'm not ready to be
more than friends right now.

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Bitches, huhΠ

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Hey, just a second, I'm on the phone,
I just gotta...

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She
[...]
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