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Doesn't anybody want
to ask me how I'm feeling?

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Well, of course.

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Eric, ask your mother
how she's feeling.

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How are you feeling, mom?

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Unneeded, unnecessary
and unloved.

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Oh, you set me up.

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Well, there's no one
for me to take care of.

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Steven's off with his dad,
you're...

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busy with your silly
not-working projects, and...

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we haven't heard from Laurie
since she moved to Canada.

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Where bottomless
dancing is legal.

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Cheer up, Kitty. You'll always
have me to take care of.

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Oh, the way you eat,
you'll be dead long before me.

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- You're the one that puts bacon on everything.
- I do not.

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- Last week you put bacon on ham.
- Fine.

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Everything's my fault.

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Man, I can't wait
to be married.

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All right, fine.
Look, we could talk all day,

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but I see one little fella that
still needs your attention.

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We still have Schotzie?

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I thought he ran away.

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No, he's been hiding
underneath the house.

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For a year?

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Poor little fella.
He's afraid of the garden hose.

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Look, mom, maybe you should stop worrying about
everyone else so much and start thinking about yourself.

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Maybe you should find something
to enrich your life.

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Oh, may I suggest

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the teachings of the Jedi?

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And may I suggest
the footing of your ass?

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this is not the ass
you're looking for.

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See, now you don't know
what to do.

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You guys, yesterday at the salon
I gave a shampoo to Tina Simpson.

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And you know what?

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She has a lumpy head.

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Oh, gross. I made out with her
in the tenth grade.

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If I'd have known she had a lumpy head,
I would have felt around up there.

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Well, I mean, it's gross,
but you want to feel it, right?

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You guys, listen to this ad.
"Do you like to draw?"

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Well, I have been known to trace my
hand and turn it into a turkey.

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"If so, have your artistic ability evaluated
"by the cartoon academy of fort lauderdale."

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Ooh. I think Picasso
went there.

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All I have to do is send i
[...]
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