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The Inbetweeners s02e05
The Duke of Edinburgh Awards

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(WILL) I was no stranger
to Mr Gilbert's office.

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I often popped by with a complaint

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or a suggestion on how the school
could be better run.

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But today was different -
he'd actually invited me.

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Sit down, McKenzie.

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Actually, I'm glad we have
this opportunity to chat

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as there's a couple of things...

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Shut up.

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Sure.

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The headmaster has decided it would
be a good idea for sixth formers

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to participate in the
Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme.

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I'd like you to co-ordinate it.

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Me? Really?!

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Duke of Edinburgh representative
for the entire year?

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Yes.

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I am honoured, sir.

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Thanks very much. Why me?

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You're a virgin, aren't you,
McKenzie?

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Sorry?

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A virgin. You haven't had
full sexual intercourse?

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Um...no, I haven't.

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Well, there's your answer.
Now get out.

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Maybe we should arrange a weekly
meeting to check on my progress.

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You can if you like,
but I won't be there.

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Or I could compose a regular memo
with how it's all going.

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OK. Why don't you drop that
in my pigeonhole?

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Great. Where's that, sir?

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Any bin.

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Any rubbish bin you see in,
or indeed, out of the school.

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Just pop all your thoughts in a
rubbish bin, and they'll get to me.

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Goodbye, McKenzie.

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So now I was Will McKenzie
"By Royal Appointment".

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But like all great leaders, I need
some idiots to use as cannon fodder.

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Now, where would I find some idiots?

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'Ere, look at this.

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(THEY LAUGH)

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Holy shit! Poor fucker's
had all his hair removed with Immac.

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(NEIL) What's that?

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It's what birds use
to get a nice, smooth fanny.

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I think my mum uses it
for her legs.

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She wants to use it on her moustache
and the backs of her hands!

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(NEIL LAUGHS)

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Brilliant(!)

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Gilbert's just told me
some great news.

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[...]
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