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Hey, you wanna be my second choice for the movies?
We can go to a family film and look for gay subtext.

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Nah. I'm just gonna hang around here...
get out the old tool box and do some fix-it work around the house.

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Oh, if you're going to give yourself a pedicure,
you have to get more cotton balls, 'cause I took 'em all.

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Damn it! How many times have I told you to stay out of my tool box?

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Come on, Will. I don't wanna go to the movies alone, like an overweight woman.

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Well, ask Grace to go.

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Grace? It'd be kinda weird. I mean, we hardly even know each other.

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Why, you have things in common. Like your love of the new format of Star magazine
and-and not knowing who's running for president.

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I don't really like voting.
What's the point of stepping into a booth if you can't get fondled?

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Hi, gays!

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Listen, Will, I need you to drive me around for the rest of the day.
Driver's getting his ears pinned.

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I couldn't stand lookin' at those Dumbo flaps for one more second.

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Karen, I'm not your chauffeur. In fact, I think we discussed this
when I came back from Bali with a tan, and you told me to bring the car around.

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Kare, why don't you just drive yourself?

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Uh... Sweetheart, heh, I don't know what century you're living in,
but women aren't allowed to drive.

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Karen, you don't know how to drive, do you?

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Nah, never had to. Plus somebody's gotta be the designated drinker.

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But, hey, since you work for the DMV, maybe you could teach me.

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No, no, no, no. Get Finster to do it.

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No, he's British. He'll teach me to drive on the wrong side of the road.

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Isn't that where you're gonna end up anyway?

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Well, get Jack to do it.

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Jack? That dope? That dope couldn't teach a monkey how to scratch his own ass.

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It's true.

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Good, good. You're doin' very well.

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Oh, honey, I love driving. It's exhilarating. Let's take her up!

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-Come on.
- Karen, this isn't a flying car.

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It is when you've smoked as much as I have.

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Just concentrate on the road. You're doing just fine. But give it a little more gas.

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- Okay, now heads up. Next block there's a woman with a baby carriage.
- I'm on it!

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No, no! Don't speed up!

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Oh, damn, it's a cop.

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- I'm on it!
- No, no, no! You've gotta stop! He's pulling us over.

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