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Honey, we're engaged now.

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I really think you
should let me

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start keeping some
of my stuff here.

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Hey, Val,
I got us some coffees.

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Whoa, somebody needs
a wax.

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You're supposed
to be at NYU.

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And you're supposed to have
blond hair and boobies.

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Oh, Holly, you're not
supposed to be here.

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Uh, honey, why don't
you go upstairs

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and change
into your man clothes?

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But the silk -- it makes
me feel so pretty.

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Okay, who's the greatest
maid of honor ever?

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You.

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I just found a mistake
in the seating chart

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for your wedding, but don't
worry. I'm gonna fix it.

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I'm sorry. What?

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Yeah, you forgot to put Ben
and me at the same table.

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No problemo. I just did
a little rearrange.

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No, no, no.
You cannot do that.

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No, this took weeks of planning.
Everything is in ink.

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White-out.

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Look, there's room
for me next to Ben

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if I just move Aunt Ellen's
friend Sue to this table.

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No, you cannot move
Aunt Ellen's friend.

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Why not?

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Because that's her...
special friend.

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Like Special Olympics?

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Like Lesbian Olympics.

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Okay, so just add another
chair to the head table,

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and Ben can sit
next to me there.

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No, the head table is for
the wedding party only,

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not some foreign boy
you picked up in a bar.

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Okay, that foreign boy
is my boyfriend,

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and if he can't sit
next to me --

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Girls, girls, girls,
I did not like

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what I was hearing when
I was listening at the door.

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Now, before it gets ugly,

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I just want you to know
that I am willing to step in

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as maid of honor if you can't
resolve your differences

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or someone drops a fat-free
muffin and Holly slips on it.

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Look, it is my wedding
and not Ben's.

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If you can't be away
from him for one hour

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to enjoy a lovely
chicken and fish entre

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with your sister on the most
important day of her life --

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[...]
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