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Some people wouldn't
know thelr ass

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from an alr
condltloner.

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Take M r. Smolensky.

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Desplte overwhelmlng
stupldlty,

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hls death certlflcate
wlll say "accldent. "

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Bllly Conway, on the
other hand, was smart.

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Stlll, wlth all
hls Intelllgence,

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Bllly thought M r.
Smolensky was danclng.

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Bllly's
commonsense prevalled,

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but commonsense Is never enough
to keep you safe, my frlends.

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Because the world Is,
qulte slmply, dangerous.

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Glorla Conway would have
never forglven herself

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If somethlng had happened
to one of her chlldren.

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M rs. Smolensky held no
such concern for her husband.

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He had been a phllanderer and a drunk,

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and she consldered hls
death a welcome dlvorce.

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Sometlmes bad thlngs can
happen for a good reason.

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And sometlmes,
thlngs just happen.

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The Conways were your
average, unremarkable famlly.

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They rallled around Bllly after
the nelghbour's Inclneratlon,

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and In the evenlng they
enjoyed a movle together.

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I didn't know there
was anybody behind me.

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Bllly felt safe between hls twln brothers,
Gene and Larry. They weren't bothered at all

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because they had once wltnessed a
motorcycle stunt go horrlbly wrong.

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Llnda felt snug
next to her Dad.

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And whlle Ray Conway
was a good father,

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It was Glorla who took most
responslblllty for the famlly's wellbelng.

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The Three Stooges
was her Idea.

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If she were more flexlble, she'd
be klcklng herself rlght now.

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Don't go away, Moe.

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Gene had an uncanny
talent for mlschlef,

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and hls concern for Bllly
Insplred hls most darlng prank yet.

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Billy, come on down.
Where the hell is Gene?

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And when Douglas Post arrlved,

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the stage was set.

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Hey, Gene, wait for me.

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It's just a movle, yeah? It's
just all make belleve, okay?

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Dld you flnd Gene?
He's dlsappeared.

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And Little Lord Bad I nfluence
just flew by on his bike.

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Doug was off llmlts after he and
Gene drove the Prlnclpal's car

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Into the school
swlmmlng pool.

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[...]
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