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"It seems today that all you see

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"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

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"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

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"On which we used to rely?

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"Lucky there's a family guy

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"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

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"Laugh and cry

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"He's a family guy

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Whoo-hoo, baby! 12 in a row!

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You must have had a great body
before it went all fun-house mirror.

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- I can't believe how terrific you look.
- I've been taking tae-jitsu classes.

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- You should come with me sometime.
- I'd love to.

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- Oh! The baby's kicking. Wanna feel?
- Sure.

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- You are freakin' dead, kid.
- Peter!

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- Oh, I love this time of year.
- Me, too.

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The tourists are gone and
we have the town to ourselves

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before those idiots from New York show up
to watch the leaves change and take over.

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Leafers!

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Holy crap. We gotta get outta here.

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- What about the boat?
- Leave it!

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- Hurry, Peter. They're almost here.
- We're too late.

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Yo, check out those colours. Yellow like
a taxi, orange like the ball at the Knicks game,

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and red like the sauce
on my mamma mia's gugotz.

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Yeah, and brown, like the guys
I don't pick up in my cab.

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- Bea-utiful!
- Aagh!

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Good evening. Tonight's top story:

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Quahog is infested with loud, hairy
creatures, also known as New Yorkers.

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They migrate north
every autumn to see the foliage.

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I think I speak for all of us when I say

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New Yorkers can fornicate
themselves with an iron stick.

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- We're gonna be late for church.
- Move it! Damn leafers.

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Christ, quit it! Mom,
Chris put his foot on my side again.

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- I can't help it. I have long dancer's legs.
- Move it.

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Stop whining. Stay on your side.
Lois, get off your ass and do some parenting.

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If you don't stop, we won't
go to McDonald's after church.

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- Mom!
- Don't worry. We're goin'.

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- But you don't get the Super Size.
- Oh!

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- OK, you can Super Size, but no apple pie.
- Come on.

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OK, but you can't blow on it.

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Peter, don't contradict me in front
[...]
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