Preview Subtitle for Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels


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Three card brag
is a simple form of poker.

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You get three cards only.

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And these you can't change.

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If you don't look at them,
you're a blind man,

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you only put in half the stake.

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Three of any kind
is the highest,

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but the odds are 450-1
against getting any three.

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Then there's a running flush,
all the same suit, all in order,

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then a straight
and a flush and a pair,

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and finally, whatever
the highest card you've got.

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Now, there are some telltale
signs that can help,

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but they took me long enough
to learn so I'm not telling you.

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They can only help a player,
not make one.

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So, d'you wanna play?

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Let's sort the buyers
from the spiers

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and those who trust me
from the ones who don't.

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If you can't see value here,

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you're not shopping,
you're shoplifting.

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You see these goods?
Never seen daylight, moonlight,

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Israelites,
Fanny by the gaslight.

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Take a bag, come on.
I took one home last night -

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cost more than ten pound,
I can tell you.

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Anyone like jewellery?
Look at that one.

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Hand-made in Italy,
hand-stolen in Stepney.

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It's as long as my arm,
not like something else.

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Don't think 'cause these boxes
are sealed, they're empty.

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Only the undertaker
sells empty boxes.

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By the look of you lot, I'd make
more money with my tape-measure.

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Here, one price, ten pound.

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- Did you say ten pound?
- Are you deaf?

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Bargain. I'll take one.

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Squeeze in. Left leg, right leg.

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They call it walking.

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You want one, darling?
That's it, they're waking up.

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Treat the wife -
treat somebody else's wife.

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It's more fun
if you don't get caught.

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You want one?
Show me a bit of life, then.

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It's no good standing
like one o'clock half struck.

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These are not stolen -
they're just not paid for.

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Can't get 'em again,
they've changed the locks.

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Can't come back -
I'll have sold out.

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Nice bit of stuff.

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"Too late" will be
[...]
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