Preview Subtitle for The Muppet Show


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[Knocking]

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John Cleese.
Oh, 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Cleese.

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Well, it's no use struggling,
Mr. Cleese.

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You can't leave
until you've done the show.

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[Drumroll]

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It's The Muppet Show, with our special
guest star, Mr. John Cleese! Wah!

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[Applause and whistles]

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# It's time to play the music
It's time to light the light

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# It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight

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# It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right

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# It's time to get things started

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Well, they'll never get this started.

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# It's time to get things started

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# On the most sensational, inspirational

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# Celebrational, Muppetational

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# This is what we call
The Muppet Show #

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[high-pitched note]

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- [Applause]
- Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

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Heigh-ho and welcome
to another Muppet Show.

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We're going to have
a fantastic show tonight,

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because our guest star
is one of the geniuses

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behind Monty Python's Flying Circus,
Mr. John Cleese!

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[Applause]

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Kermit, here's a note
from the stagehands up in the rafters.

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Let's see. It says, "Dear Kermit.

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We are sorry we dropped
that heavy weight,

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but we hope it doesn't do
any damage when it hits the floor.

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P.S. Actually, we dropped two weights."

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Why don't you guys watch the opening
number? I'm gonna lie down for a while.

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[# Somebody Stole My Gal]

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Go get it, Gramps!

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[Twanging]

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[Applause]

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- What's wrong with you?
- I got a sore thumb.

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- Why don't you get it taken care of?
- It keeps my mind off the show.

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And now, to appease
the intellectuals of our audience,

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the Great Gonzo will catch a cannonball
with his bare hand,

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as fired from a muzzle-loading cannon.

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Ladies and gentlemen, the Great Gonzo!

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Thank you. The Great Gonzo.

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The bare hand.

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The muzzle-loading cannon.

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[...]
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