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1
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Hello? What?

2
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I can't understand you.

3
00:00:12,295 --> 00:00:13,387
Who is it?

4
00:00:13,463 --> 00:00:15,226
I don't know. Some woman crying.

5
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,991
Hold on. Charlie?

6
00:00:19,235 --> 00:00:20,827
- What?
- Phone for you.

7
00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,898
- Who is it?
- A hysterical woman.

8
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Are you insane?
I don't take calls from hysterical women.

9
00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:31,778
Here he is.

10
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:35,748
You are very insensitive.

11
00:00:37,921 --> 00:00:40,446
Hello? Oh, hey. How are you?

12
00:00:41,091 --> 00:00:42,854
She's crying. Duh.

13
00:00:43,593 --> 00:00:47,256
Okay, calm down. I can't understand you.

14
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:51,626
Omelet? What is "omelet"?

15
00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:54,799
Oh, I'm late.

16
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What are you late for, hon?

17
00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:03,877
- Get him out of here.
- Jake, go watch TV.

18
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What's the big deal?
I don't cry when I'm late.

19
00:01:10,687 --> 00:01:13,155
Okay, are you sure? Don't yell.

20
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How did this... Scratch that.

21
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Okay. Just stay calm, I'm here for you.

22
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We'll deal with this together.

23
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You didn't happen
to catch her name, did you?

24
00:01:34,477 --> 00:01:36,968
Okay, the instructions sound pretty clear.

25
00:01:37,547 --> 00:01:39,071
You pee on the stick,

26
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and if it turns blue
it means you're pregnant.

27
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The stick turns blue.

28
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Yes, sweetheart,
first go into the bathroom.

29
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Not exactly a rocket scientist.

30
00:01:56,466 --> 00:01:59,697
As opposed to the Nobel Prize winners
you usually bring home.

31
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I'm still here. Go ahead, let her rip.

32
00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:09,605
What do you mean you can't?

33
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,442
Hold on.

34
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,249
How's that?

35
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Yeah, I'm a genius.
Now we wait 30 seconds.

36
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Please, God. Please, God, please.

37
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Isn't it a little late for prayer, Charlie?

38
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Hey, don't mock my faith.

39
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Yeah, I'm here. Did it change colors?

40
00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:41,835
No? That's good, right?

41
00:02:43,279 --> 00:02:46,442
Sure, in a strange way
I'm a little disappointed, too.

42
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:51,153
Hold on a sec. Yes!

43
00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:00,819
So, what else is new?

44
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Hey, congratulations.
When's the wedding?

45
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Isn't that nice?

46
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Best of luck. Bye-bye.

47
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Boy, don't you just hate
when that happens?

48
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Wait, so this is a common occurrence?
Don't you take precautions?

49
00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:21,850
Of course.

50
00:03:
[...]
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