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Hey, squatch,
you know what today is?

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(Squatch) what?

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It's my 20th anniversary
of doing this crappy job.

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Oh, yeah, i'll get you
a gold urinal cake.

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I mean, come on, 20 years.

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Thinking about it
makes my head spin.

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Jonesy, you've been
doing this--What, 40, 50?

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Come on, shine some wisdom
on us, brother.

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Wisdom? Who you think i am,
morgan freeman?

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I've been drunk
since the bicentennial.

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Yeah, but you always said
that a man who...

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(breathing heavily)

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Jonesy, you okay?

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It's just my allergies.

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(Bell tolls)

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The man died
mopping on the night shift.

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What kind of life
is that, huh?

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Below average.

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Squatch...

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it's time for eugene gurkin
to make his move.

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So... what brings you here,
mr. Gurkin?

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Well, at the risk
of sounding grandiose, sir,

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I am here for my destiny.

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Okay,
so how can i help you?
Well,

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It"s my dream to open a bar
right here in queens.

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An oasis of cheer
in the urban wasteland.

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Do you have any experience
running your own business?

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No, but i more than make up
for my lack of experience

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With passion,
drive and vision.

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Did you graduate college?

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High school?

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Sadly, book smarts are not
my strong suit,

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But i am
a student of life.

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Have you saved any money?

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$89, and i have a $100 bond
i can't touch till i'm 55.

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Listen, mr. Gurkin,
i'm sorry--
Look, i know i'm not ???

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But you've gotta help me
make this thing happen.

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I will do anything.

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Just, please, just point me
in the right direction.

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M sorry to say this,???

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The kind of money
it takes to open a bar.

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Sir, you don'tnderstand.
I've got to make a change.

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Mr. Gurkin,???

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Mine's to sit
at this desk all day,

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Drinking bad coffee
and hearing sob stories.

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Maybe yours
is to be a janitor.

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[...]
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