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- Dude,
what are you staring at?

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Did Kevin Stern take a crap
in the hallway again?

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- No, dude, I think Max Owens
really blew it this time.

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- Oh.
- Oh, man!

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I wish I could read lips.

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Dude, reading lips is a myth
created by deaf people.

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What you need to do
is read their body language.

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Here, allow me to narrate.

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Okay, Max is saying, "Jenny, the
only reason I'm such a tool

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"is 'cause I was raised by a
bottle of self-tanning lotion."

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- Shh.
- "Oh, my God!

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You use your hands
so much when you talk."

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- "Yeah, you know,
it's 'cause I'm half Italian,

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half douche bag."

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- "I'm sick of your persian-like
use of body spray.

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You smell
like a Taliban wedding."

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- "Come on, Jenny,
I just want to scratch my nose

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and dabble in some
bro-on-bro, bro."

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- I did not cheat on you.
- Just save it, okay?

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I'm done. I don't want
to hear it anymore.

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- What?
- I'm through!

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I am not
your girlfriend anymore!

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Ooh.

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- Holy crap, dude.

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I think your dream girl
just updated her Facebook status

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to "single."

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- My name is RJ Berger,

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and I've just updated
my status to "erect."

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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

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- Dude, this is the moment
you've been begging God for.

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- Yeah, except
until this moment,

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I didn't believe
there was a God, miles.

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I mean, what happened?
- I'll tell you what happened.

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Before school today,
little old Jenny

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went to drop off some cupcakes
in Max's locker.

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And what did she find inside?

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- Max's black belt
in sucking dong?

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- She found a pair
of red panties--

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panties that did not
belong to her.

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- Oho-ho-ho.
- What?

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I mean, I just--
I don't understand.

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I mean, who would ever cheat
on Jenny Swanson?

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- Show me a hot chick,

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and I'll show you a dude who's
sick of getting tuggers f
[...]
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