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(Narrator)
History has known many liars -

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Copernicus, Goebbels,

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Saint Ralph the Liar.

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But there have been none quite so
vile as the Tudor king, Henry VII.

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He rewrote history to portray
his predecessor, Richard III,

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as a deformed maniac
who killed his nephews in the Tower.

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But the real truth is that Richard
was a kind, thoughtful man

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who cherished his young wards.

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In particular Richard,
Duke of York,

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who grew into a big, strong boy.

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Henry claimed he won
the Battle of Bosworth Field,

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and killed Richard III.

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Again, the truth is very different.

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It was Richard, Duke of York, who
became king after Bosworth Field

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and reigned for 13 glorious years.

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As for who killed Richard III

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and how Henry Tudor
escaped with his life,

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all is revealed in this, the first
chapter of a history never told,

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the history of The Black Adder.

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Silence, silence for the King!

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Now is the summer
of our sweet content,

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made o'ercast winter
by these Tudor clowns.

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And I that am not shaped
for black-faced war... (Cheering)

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..I that am rudely cast
and want true majesty...

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(Booing)

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..am forced to fight
to set sweet England free.

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I pray to Heaven we fare well

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and all who fight us go to hell!

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(All)
Hurrah!

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Absolutely, hurrah!

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Who is that?

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I know not, My Lord.
I'll ask my son.

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Harry, who is that?

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- Your other son, My Lord.
- It is my other son, My Lord.

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Fights he with us on the morrow?

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- What's his name?
- Edmund.

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Edna! Fight you
with us on the morrow?

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Oh, goodness, no.
I thought I'd fight with the enemy.

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He won't be
anywhere near me, will he?

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No, he'll be amongst the rabble.

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- Oh, arrow fodder.
- Precisely.

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What a little turd.

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Percy, you see how the King
picks me out for special greeting?

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- No, My Lord.
- I saw it, My Lord.

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A
[...]
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