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Our street performers
won't bother you anymore

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You know, we should visit
Shelbyville more often.

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They have a store
that just sells shoes.

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I feel like I'm in Paris!

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The famous Shelbyville
Theater District!

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Can we see a play?
- Play?!

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All plays suck, all the time,
and always will,

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and everyone knows it!
- Look, we'll compromise.

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We'll go see a play...

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that Lisa doesn't want to see.

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Let's see...

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there's Equus
starring Sideshow Mel,

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the Three Dollar Bills
in Gay, Gay, Gay!

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Song of Shelbyville.

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From the schoolhouse
where our grandparents learnt

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To the bad zoo
where all the animals burnt

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We're home to Christian,
Muslim and Jew

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Although not many
of the last two.

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There's a girl
for every guy

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Birthplace of the button fly

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In good ol' Shel-bee-ville!

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Say, fellow Shelbyvillian,

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enjoying our famous
low humidity?

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I'll say.

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The only thing lower
than our humidity

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are the greens fees
on our public golf course.

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Which one?
- All three!

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Yes. Yes.

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Why look,
it's Springfield Billy!

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What are you doing
here in Shelbyville?

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I came here for
the legalized gambling.

32
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But Springfield Billy,

33
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we don't have
legalized gambling here.

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Sure you do.

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I saw a bumper sticker
that said "Free Tibet."

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They're saying Springfielders
are stupid hicks.

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It's like lookin'
in a mirror.

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What's a mirror?

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It's a big city word
for reversifyin' glass.

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That show was hilarious.

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That Springfield Billy
cracks me up.

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For your information,

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Springfielders can be
intelligent and articulate.

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I happen to know because
we're from Springfield.

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Springfielders?!

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This is the worst crisis

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the Springfield Cultural
Activities Board has ever faced.

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[...]
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