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I don't wanna go on a rant here, but America's
foreign policy makes about as much sense

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as Beowulf havin' sex with Robert Fulton
at the first battle of Antietam.

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When a neo-conservative defenestrates,

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it's like Raskolnikov filibustered
dioxin monohydroxanate.

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What the hell does "rant" mean?

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"It seems today that all you see

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"Is violence in movies and sex on TV

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"But where are those
good old-fashioned values

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"On which we used to rely?

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"Lucky there's a family guy

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"Lucky there's a man who positively
can do all the things that make us

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"Laugh and cry

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"He's a family guy

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Go, Dust Mites!

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- I wish they'd put Chris in already.
- Relax. It's his first game.

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Griffin, get in there.

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- They're sending him in. Yay, Chris!
- Attaboy, Chris!

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That's my son out there.
I taught him how to wipe.

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- Why won't you teach me how to wipe, Dad?
- Because you don't have a bottom, son.

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- Man, you and that towel are representin'.
- Yo, that's what's just fightin', G!

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The Buddy Cianci
Junior High cheerleaders!

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Is everybody pumped up?

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Give me a D-U-S-T!

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D-U-S-T!

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M-I-T-E-S!

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M-I-T-E-S!

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- What does that spell?
- Dust Mites!

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- Who's gonna win this game?
- Dust Mites!

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My God, what... what just happened to me?

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It's those sirens. They had us all
completely under their spell.

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Like that hypnotist at the airport Hilton.

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And... three!

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- Wow. Were we just hypnotised?
- That's incredible. I don't remember a thing.

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Why do I taste crotch?

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I must unlock the secret to
their mind-control powers.

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- Can we go now? I'm starvin'.
- The game's almost over.

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Try to think about somethin' else.

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Ahhhhh...!

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- Peter!
- Sorry.

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Nice job tonight, Chris.
You wiped the floor with that towel.

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Yo, did y'all check me when
that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid?

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I was lookin' to break off somethin',

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but my crew gave me the 411 on tha
[...]
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