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My name is Earl.

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Karma finally brought me my good thing...

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but then plowed into her
at 40 miles an hour.


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And I wasn't doing so good myself.

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But when you've been through rough times as
much as I have, you learn ways to deal with it.


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Like when I was a kid.

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You call this dinner? I bust my hump
all day, then I come home to salad?

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Well, I'm sorry. Here.
I'll just pour some scotch on it.

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Then I'm sure that
you'll lick the plate clean.

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I didn't grow up in the perfect home.

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But when things got bad,
I turned on the TVand pretended I did.


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Honey, are my pants done yet?

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My boss wanted me to go over
theJohnson account this morning...

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and I can't debrief in my briefs.

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00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,066
Why not?

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He might take one look at those cute
legs of yours and give you a raise.

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Aw.

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I guess that's why my mind did what it did.

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It knew my body couldn't get
to a TVto drown out the pain...


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so it took over and did what
I had trained it to do when I was a kid.


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Honey, I'm home.

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My mind created a nice little world for me...

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where my list was finished,
dinner was always waiting...


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any problem could be solved in a halfhour,
and I was married to Billie.


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Hello, Mr. Senior Account Executive.

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- How's the new corner office?
- Well, it's so big it has two corners.

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Well, that's two more corners
than my father said you'd ever get.

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Aw.

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Oh! Sam, the two-eyed mailman,
delivered more wedding gifts today.

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- Uh, not another toaster, I hope.
- Nope.

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Four toasters!

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Let me guess what's for dinner.

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Toast!

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Ooh!

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Back in the real world...

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things weren't going
so well for me or Billie.


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So, uh, you guys
gonna cut off her shirt?

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Earl? Earl!

39
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What happened?
What happened?


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Uh, ex-Officer Daniels was driving by
and found them in the street.

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Yes. That is how it happened.

[...]
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