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# They say I might as well face the truth

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# That I am just too long in the tooth

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# So I'm an OAP and weak-kneed

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# But I have not yet quite gone to seed

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# I may be over the hill now that I have retired

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# Fading away but I've not yet expired

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# Clapped out, run down, too old to save

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# One foot in the grave #

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Unbelievable!

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I mean, look at that

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Wandering about in his bedroom
without a stitch on

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Naked as the day he was born

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Talk about being an exhibitionist

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I thought he'd one of those balloon animals
tied to his waist at first

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Well, they've made a complete pig's breakfast
of that new shower

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As I knew they would

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It takes you half an hour
to get the right temperature

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and then, if you so much as flush the loo,

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it turns into a blast furnace

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Hmm-mmm

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And I thought we bought those glasses
for Ronnie's birthday

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when you've quite finished
steaming up the lenses

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I haven't finished wrapping them yet
for Thursday so mind what you're doing

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Yes

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What did I just say?

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You said that we Hmm?

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I might as well talk to a tin of spam

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What time's your appointment
with the dentist this morning?

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1 1 :30

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Thank God for that

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I've seen enough of those temporary crowns
to last me a lifetime

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It's like being kissed good night by Bugs Bunny

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Oh, was there anything in the post,
by the way, about that job?

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Just the phone bill

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And a letter from Reader's Digest
saying we've both become millionaires

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I don't suppose I'll get it anyway for one

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Oh, hang on

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He's got one of those little
trampoline things out now

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Surely he's going to put some
underpants on before he starts bouncing

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Oh, I don't

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Look at that!

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I don't think I can watch much more of this,
I really don't

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NICK: Good morning, Mrs Meldrew

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Not quite so breezy
[...]
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