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Ladies and gentlemenΞ

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Eddie MurphyΞ

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Thank you. Thank you so much.
Two times, far two times.

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Before I even get started how about
a big round of applause for the Bus Boys.

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There's some rules, I got some rules when I show
down and I do my standup, I got rules and shit.

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Faggots aren't allowed to look
at my ass while I'm on stageΞ

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That's why I keep moving while I'm up here.

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You don't know where the faggot section is,
you gotta keep movin'.

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So if they do see it, quick, you switch,
they don't get no long stares at your shit...

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...so that their imagination is flowing about my...

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I know when you're looking,
'cos my ass starts to get hot.

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I'm afraid of gay people. Petrified.
I have nightmares about gay people.

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I have this nightmare that I go to Hollywood
and find out that Mr. T is a faggot.

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Really, and he'd be walking up to people goingΨ
"Hey, boyΞ Hey, boyΞ"

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"You look mighty cute in them jeansΞ"

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"Now come on over here,
and fuck me up the assΞ"

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"I'm gonna bend over nowΞ"

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"Hey, boy, slow downΞ You're gonna miss
the round, and come too fastΞ"

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"You make me get get mad I clench up
my buttcheeks and rip your dick ofΞ"

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You know who would be a funny faggotΠ
Ralph Kramden and Ed NortonΞ

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Ralph Kramden leaning out the window andΨ
"NortonΞ Come on down, I wanna show you somethin'Ξ"

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"Ralphie-boy, whaddaya say there pal of mineΠ"

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"You know Norton, I've been watching you.

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And I know you've been watching me.
You watch meΞ I knowΞ"

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"So, Ralph, what are you gettin' atΠ"

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"Norton, my friendΞ
How would you like to fuck me up the assΠ"

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"I know you wanna fuck me, NortonΞ"

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"And you know that I know that you know
that I know that you wanna fuck meΞ"

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"Now I'm gonna bend over,
and when I do, start fuckin'Ξ"

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"Here I goΞ"

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"Way to go there, Ralphie-boyΞ"

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I kid the homosexuals a lot,
'cos they're homosexuals.

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I fuck with everybody. I don't give a fuck if they're...
Just like I'm... I don't mean anything by it.

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You can hang out with a gay person.

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Them guys don't feel, you know, alienated,
like, gay people, 'cos they're gay.

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You can play tennis with a gay
[...]
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