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Margaret, what's in that box?

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- Is it food?
- No, Mom.

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It's just some old toys
I'm collecting for charity.

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Don't lie to your mother.
I smell garlic chicken.

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It's just Al's socks.

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Hey, Peg.

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Do I smell garlic chicken?

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No, Al. But guess
what I found in the attic.

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Hey, if I wanna keep a noose upstairs,
that's my business, Peg.

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No, I dug up all these old toys.

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They're for Marcie's
toys-for-guns exchange program.

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Where do kids today get the idea
that a gun is something to play with?

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What is going on here?

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This is foreplay.

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No, honey, this can't be foreplay.
I'm enjoying it.

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And I'm in the room.

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I can't believe you guys.

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The whole point of this
toys-for-guns exchange program...

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...is to give kids something else
to play with besides firearms.

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For instance, I'm donating
this oil-covered Alaskan seagull.

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Now, watch what happens
when I pull the string.

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Kids, don't drink and drive
an oil tanker.

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I smell fowl.

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You certainly do.

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Well, I'm gonna give the
disadvantaged youngsters these dice.

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Jefferson, why would you
give a kid dice?

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Oh, these aren't just any dice.

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They're loaded.

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Yup, the lucky gangbanger who
trades in his Uzi for these babies...

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...will learn self-esteem
as he fleeces confused retirees...

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...out of their social-security checks.

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Thank you.

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What's Mr. Potato Head doing here?

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I don't know. You married him.

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Not that Mr. Potato Head.

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The one that's actually
worth something.

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I'm sorry, Marcie. I myself
once had a Mr. Potato Head...

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...who meant a lot to me.

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Well, my little sticky buns,
what happened to him?

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Well, one night
my frat brothers and I...

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...got stinko on Champale
and grenadine.

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Next thing I knew...

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...I was stuffing Mr. Potato Head's
heinie with cherry bombs.

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We lit the fuse and blew
Mr. Potato Head into hash b
[...]
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