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NARRATORΨ Kids, if there's one
big theme to this story--

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and I swear,
we're totally, almost,

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not really all that close
to the end-- it's timing.

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Timing is everything.

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For example, I never
would met your mother

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if it weren't for a wedding.

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The last wedding
I ever thought I'd be at.

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What do you think of this tieΠ

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Oh, thank God.

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Barney Stinson needs you
right before his wedding,

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you assume there's at least
one dead hooker in the closet,

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rightΠ

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(chuckling)

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Is this one betterΠ

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Look, the tie is great, and,
you know, it's perfectly normal

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to have some
pre-wedding jitters.

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I'm not having jitters.

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It just occurs to me

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that once I put this tie on,
I can never take it off.

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I have to wear this tie
forever and ever.

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And sure, this tie's skinny now,

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but what happens if it gets fat
and starts bossing me aroundΠ

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Did I make a mistakeΠ

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Would I have been happier
with the other tieΠ

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Ted, can I tell you
a big secretΠ

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Yeah, of course.

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I'm not really talking
about the tie.

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No, I got that, Barney.

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I wonder if this whole
thing's a disaster.

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What if this is
the worst wedding everΠ

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Not possible.

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We've already been
to the worst wedding ever.

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Punchy's wedding.

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Marshall really took
a two flusher on that one.

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The story of how
Uncle Marshall ruined

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my friend Punchy's wedding

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starts in September, 2011.

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Punchy had asked me
to be his best man.

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Hey.
Hey.

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Guys, before we go,
would you mind

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reading my wedding toastΠ

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Oh, yeah, no problem.
Sure.

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Um, all right,
if I have to.

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All right.
Whoa.

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There's a few
different versions.

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Ted, why are you working
so hard on this toastΠ

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Punchy belc
[...]
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