Preview Subtitle for Cry Murder


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Last call
for the howling contest, folks.


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It's now or never
for the singing basset hounds.

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Most Original Basset Hound Costumes
are now being paraded.


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Ladies and gentlemen, the parade
of the Hero Basset Hound Owners.


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Each and every owner in this event

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rescued his or her dog from the
pound or took it in as a stray.


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Come on.

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Let's hear it for the
happy basset hounds.


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Oh, yesΞ

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Oh, thank you very much.

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SeeΠ See, sweetheart, huhΠ

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- Mine's named King Archibald.
- This one, his name is Dog.

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- Excuse meΠ
- He's a dog, so we call him Dog.

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King Archibald's won over 30 awards.
How many has Dog wonΠ

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Including this one, if you count
'em all up, it comes out to one.

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- One award.
- Oh, reallyΠ

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Well, my dog, maybe he's not
the most beautiful dog in the world,

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and plenty of other dogs are a lot smarter,

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but if they ever gave an award
for the loving department,

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he would win the grand prize.

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When it comes to loving, this dog is
the champion. Aren't you, sweetheartΠ

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You OKΠ

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Consider the nature
of a beautiful woman.


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Nose of a certain average shape.

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The dimension between her eyes
gloriously average.

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Distance from nose tip to chin dimple
average perfection.

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Now, if each feature in every respect
is exquisitely average,

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then we call that woman beautiful.

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Thus the trick that nature plays
upon mankind and the artist

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is to reveal the average as breathtaking.

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- You understand, JulieΠ
- My back hurts.

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- It's supposed to hurt.
- I'm hungry.

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- Always.
- I'm bored.

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- Forever bored.
- I'm not bored in bed.

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- So I've noticed.
- Tell me a story.

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Very well. Once upon a time
there was a worthless slut.

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She'd rather eat than sleep
and rather sleep than work,

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so she was rather stupid.

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Good. I like her.
Was she very beautifulΠ

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Yes. Her face was very beautiful.
So was her body.

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That's why this great artist chose her
to be his model. Sit still, Julie.

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[...]
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