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1
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Why do we put up with this bloody climateΠ

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I mean, look at us.

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- Gerry can't speak.
- UhΠ

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- Leslie can't hear.
- WhatΠ

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- Margo's got a face like red porridge.
- Shut upΞ

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- Mother's looking like an Irish washerwoman.
- I am not.

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It's AugustΞ We need sunshine.

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Yes, dear.

9
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I've got a friend, lives in Greece, Corfu.

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Says it's wonderful.
Why don't we pack up and goΠ

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I can't just go like that. We have a house here.

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- We'll sell up.
- Don't be ridiculous, Lawrence.

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- Gerry needs an education.
- No, I'll be fine.

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We can't just up and leave.
That would be madness.

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This is the story of the time I spent on Corfu.

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It was originally intended to be
a mildly nostalgic account

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of the natural history of the island,

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but I made the grave mistake
of introducing my family,

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who proceeded to take over.

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It was only with the greatest difficulty
and by exercising considerable cunning,

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that I managed to retain a small space
exclusively for the animals.

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- What thisΠ
- Grubs.

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They're about to turn into beetles.

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You can tell by the way
their skin's getting darker.

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- HeΠ
- Roger.

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- It's important to have a dog.

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I'm a writer.

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That one's very good.
Challenges all sorts of received bourgeois crap.

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Good.

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This, no.

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It's bed linen.

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Merchandise. Tax.

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It's our bed linenΞ You silly man.

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Come away, Mother. Let's put off
annoying people as long as possible.

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Is it a bank holidayΠ

36
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Not quite the gracious arrival I'd hoped for.

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Come on. OwΞ OwΞ

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Why doesn't somebody do somethingΠ

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HelpΞ

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Go awayΞ

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EyesΞ EyesΞ

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- Get them offΞ
- Gerald, now.

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Well, they all seem very nice.

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- They wouldn't give me any lavatory paper.
- Sh. Not at the table.

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You didn't look properly.
You've got a little boxful by the pan.

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- Margo, dear.
- WhatΠ

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The
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