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О»©1
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Б™ Men, men, men, men Б™

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Б™ Men, men, men,
men, men, men, men. Б™

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Hello.

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I'm Charlie's brother Alan.

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I want to thank you all
for coming.

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I know this is

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a very sad day
for all of us.

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Speak for yourself.

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Okay.

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Uh, I understand that some of
you have "mixed feelings."

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Um... but I think
we can all agree

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that Charlie lived life
to its fullest

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and-and gave it
everything he had.

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Gave me herpes.

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Chlamydia.

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Vaginal warts.

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Excuse me, this is my dead
son we're talking about.

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I loved him and I'm
devastated that he's gone,

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leaving me with nothing but
my memories and my regrets

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and the listing for his
beautiful beachfront

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Malibu getaway
with three bedrooms

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and three and
a half baths

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and a beautiful
panoramic ocean view.

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Help yourselves to brochures
out by the coffee urn.

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Thank you, Mom.

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Um, anyway...

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Open house is Sunday,
1:00 to 5:00.

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Okay.

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Um, I'd like to take a moment
to talk about my brother,

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um, and his incredible love
for life.

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He also loved being spanked.

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While wearing
my panties.

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He used my panties to make tea.

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M-My point is, um, that Charlie
lived life on his own terms

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and-and never apologized
for who he was.

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Yeah, blah,
blah, blah.

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Why can't we
see the body?

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Yeah, I didn't come all this way
to spit on a closed coffin.

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Okay, I understand how you feel,

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but unfortunately due to the
circumstances of his passing,

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the remains aren't exactly...
spit-able.

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I have a question.

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O-Okay.

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Uh, I wasn't planning on
doing a Q and A,

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uh, but go ahead.

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Thank you.

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Charlie owes me $38,000
for some,

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let's say, pharmaceuticals.

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Who do I talk to about that?

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Uh, well, I think
tha
[...]
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