Preview Subtitle for Aqua


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1
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Gentlemen, you have reached
Dr. Weird's residence.


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Now speak at the tone.

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Hello, Dr. Wire... Wired... Weird.

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Steve, send the phone spiders.

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...works with
Chauna Construction Company.


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With spring here, we thought
you might be interested in a new deck.


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- Spiders. Get them off.
- I guess we're not interested.


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Carl?

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- Carl. Open the door.
- Damn it.

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- I got a gift for you.
- Go away.

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I'm so tired of this.
Friggin' go away, you freak.

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- Did you lose something behind the couch?
- I did. I lost peace and quiet!

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What do you need? What do you want?
Can I not just live here...

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without having to occasionally
deal with you animals?

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- Well, yeah. It's your house.
- That's right, it is.

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And look what I just added to it.

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Nice, a crapper.

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That's no ordinary toilet.
That toilet is environmentally friendly.

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Know how much water is used up
every time you flush the toilet?

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- I give. What?
- Three gallons.

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- Wow, what a waste. The poor children.
- This one uses highly compressed air...

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creating a super vacuum which completely
obliterates all waste upon impact.

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Goody. So I should sort of
let the neighbors know...

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that I'm gonna be kind of,
you know, exposing myself...

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four to five times a day,
depending on what I eat?

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Maybe we could sell some tickets.
"Come by and take pictures.

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"This where I do my business
from now on".

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No, this is the best part.

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Press this button and an infrared
privacy curtain is activated...

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rendering you virtually invisible.

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Okay. So, sort of
like that movie Predator...


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only instead of hunting people,
he's crapping.

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Or the Hollow Man.
You choose your science fiction fantasy.


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You'll be living it
every time you go to the bathroom.

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Go ahead, try it out.

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I don't need to go right now.

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- That's cool. I mean, I'll wait.
- No, you won't.

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I get it. You want to be alone
when you go to the...

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By the way, we also made you a little
care package for your new adventure.

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Oh, boy, fiber table
[...]
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