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stephen: Tonight, america

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Has a brand-new export.

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Good news-- unless the export is

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Your job.

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(laughter)

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Then a new assault on

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Traditional marriage.

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Now we just need an old assault

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And a blue assault.

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And my guest, second lady of the

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United states, dr. Jill biden is

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Here to talk about her new

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Children's book.

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It's about a boy named joe who

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Loves choo-choos.

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(laughter)

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Celine dion says she's sick of

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The theme from "titanic".

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So now it's unanimous.

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(laughter)

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This is "the colbert report."

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(cheers and applause)

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Captioning sponsored by

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Comedy central

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( theme song playing )

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( cheers and applause )

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(crowd chanting "stephen)

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(cheers and applause).

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stephen: Thank you, ladies

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And gentlemen.

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Thank you for that

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Ovation.

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Just from the sound of that it

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Sounds like you could do it over

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And over again.

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(laughter)

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Welcome to the "report," thank

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You for joining us in here; out

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There.

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Nation, all eyes are on

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Wisconsin tonight and the hotly

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Contested recall election

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Deciding the fate of republican

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Governor and living fifth grade

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School photo scott walker.

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Now, we taped this show earlier

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In the evening and the results

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Aren't in yet.

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I'm tivoing it so no one tell me

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How unions end.

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We'll have more on that story

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Tomorrow but, first, folks, you

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Know that I do not flinch at

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Unpleasantness.

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When the doctor tells me to turn

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My head and cough, I refuse.

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[...]
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