Preview Subtitle for I M Spazticus


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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells


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I'm Spazticus!

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No, I'm... Aaaaargh!

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This is dispatch.
Suspect's name is Spazticus,

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AKA "Ah'm Spazticus!"

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Ha ha ha ha ha.

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Excuse me, sir. You have to wait
for a bit.

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- Oh.
- Yeah.

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How long?

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Unfortunately the bridge is closing,
due to a weight restriction.

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Morning.

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Got a parcel for you, mate.

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- Oh, right.
- OK?

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Cheers.

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Um, while you're here... Sorry.

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Could you do us a favour,
do you think?

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What's that, mate?

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I've got this letter,

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and it's in print, obviously,
so I can't read it.

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Oh, right.

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But if it's from who
I think it's from,

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I don't really want
the missus reading it.

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- Could you just read it to me?
- Yeah, no problem.

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It's not long, I don't think.

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No problem.

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Cheers.

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Er, "Thank you for attending.

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"We would advise that you deal
with the following issues

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"as a matter of some urgency."

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Yeah.

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It says, er... chlamydia.

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Oh right.

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Gonorrhoea... er, pubis lice.

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That'll be the itching, yeah.

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And itchicus bollocus.

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That's the stinging. It's Latin.

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It is actually what it says.

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No, that'll be the stinging.
God.

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It says, "Contact our office as soon
as it is convenient for you

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"to arrange an appointment."

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Oh, well, what will I tell
the missus?

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Well, looks like you're...

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I would imagine they'll want you to
tell her cos all of those are...

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I could tell her I thought it
was from her I got it, couldn't I?

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Well, you could try but...

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Yeah.

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It wouldn't go down well
I wouldn't have thought.

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No, I don't think it would.

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What would your missus say
if you had a problem?

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Oh, I think it'd be
a kick in th
[...]
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