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A Single Man

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Friday, 30 November, 1962

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Waking up begins with saying
''am'' and ''now''.

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Jennifer, I'm not gonna tell you again.

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For the past eight months waking
up has actually hurt.

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The cold realization that
I'm still here slowly sets in.

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I was never teribly fond of waking up.

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I was never one to jump out of bed and
greet the day with a smile like Jim was.

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I used to want to punch him sometimes
in the morning he was so happy.

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I always used to tell him that only fools
greet the day with a smile...

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...that only fools possibly
escape the simple truth.

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That now isn't simply now.

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It's a cold reminder.
One day later than yesterday.

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One year later than last year.

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And that sooner or later it will come.

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He used to laugh at me and then
give me kiss on the cheek.

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It takes time in the morning
for me to become George.

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The time to adjust to what is expected
of George and how he is to behave.

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By the time I have dressed and
put the final layer of polish...

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...on the now slightly stiff
but quite perfect George...

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...I know fully what part
I'm supposed to play

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Looking in the mirror staring back at me
isn't so much as a face...

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...as the expression of a predicament.

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Just get through the goddamn day.

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A bit melodramatic, I guess.

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But then again...

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...my heart has been broken.

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I feel as if I am sinking, drowning...

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...can't breathe.

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Aren't you going to say something?
Are you kidding? It's spectacular.

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What are you doing?

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Just stop it.
Stop it.

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I don't think that you're quite
ready for life in a glass house.

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Drapes, old man.

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You're the one who is always saying
that we are invisible.

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That's not exactly what I meant.

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For the first time in my life
I can't see my future.

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Every day goes by in a haze.

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But today I have decided
will be different.

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Finally. You know it's been
raining here all day.

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I've been trapped in this house
waiting for you to call.

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I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number
[...]
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