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Subtitles by axox85

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My name's ralph,
and I'm a bad guy.

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Let's see. I'm nine feet tall.
I weigh 643 pounds.

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Got a little bit
of a temper on me.

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Hey, you moved my stumpΞ

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My passion bubbles
very near the surface,

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I guess, not gonna lie.

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Anyhoo, what elseΠ

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I'm a wrecker. I wreck thing.
Professionally.

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I'm going to wreck itΞ

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I'm very good at what I do.
Probably the best I know.

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The thing is, fixing
is the name of the game.

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Literally, fix-it felix, jr.

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Fix it, felixΞ

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I can fix itΞ

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So, yeah, naturally,

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The guy with the name
fix-it felix is the good guy.

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He's nice enough
as good guys go.

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Definitely fixes
stuff really well.

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But, if you've
got a magic hammer.

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From your father,

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How hard can it beΠ

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If he was a regular contractr
carpenter guy,

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I guarantee you
would not be able.

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To fix the damage
that I do as quickly.

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And when felix does
a good job, he gets a medal.

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But are there medals for
wrecking stuff really wellΠ

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To that I say, "haΞ"

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And, no, there aren't.

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Thirty years I've
been doing this.

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And I've seen a lot of or
games come and go.

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Kind of sad. I think about all
those guys from asteroids.

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BoomΞ Gone.CentipedeΠ

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Who knows where
that guy is, you knowΠ

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Look, a steady arcade gig
is nothing to sneeze at.

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I'm very lucky.

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It's just, I gotta say,

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It becomes kind of hard
to love your job.

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When no one seems to
like you for doing it.

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All clearΞ
The arcade is closedΞ

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ShoryukenΞ

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WhooΞ What a dayΞ So, you want
to head to tappers, kenΠ

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[...]
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