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1
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My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy.

2
00Ψ00Ψ54,888 --> 00Ψ00Ψ57,140
Let's see. I'm nine feet tall.
I weigh 643 pounds.

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00Ψ00Ψ57,641 --> 00Ψ00Ψ59,308
Got a little bit of a temper on me.

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00Ψ01Ψ02,980 --> 00Ψ01Ψ05,106
My passion bubbles
very near the surface,

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00Ψ01Ψ05,274 --> 00Ψ01Ψ07,150
I guess, not gonna lie.

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00Ψ01Ψ08,777 --> 00Ψ01Ψ11,154
Anyhoo, what elseΠ

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I'm a wrecker. I wreck things.
Professionally.

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I'm very good at what I do.
Probably the best I know.

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The thing is, fixing
is the name of the game.

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Literally, Fix-It Felix, Jr.

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Fix it, FelixΞ

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So, yeah, naturally,

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the guy with the name
Fix-It Felix is the good guy.

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He's nice enough as good guys go.

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Definitely fixes stuff really well.

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But if you've got a magic hammer
from your father,

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how hard can it beΠ

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If he was a regular contractor
carpenter guy,

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I guarantee you would not be able

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to fix the damage that I do as quickly.

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And when Felix does
a good job, he gets a medal.

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But are there medals for
wrecking stuff really wellΠ

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To that I say, "HaΞ"

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And, no, there aren't.

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Thirty years I've been doing this

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and I've seen a lot of
other games come and go.

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Kind of sad. I think about
all those guys from Asteroids.

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BoomΞ Gone. CentipedeΠ

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Who knows where
that guy is, you knowΠ

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Look, a steady arcade gig
is nothing to sneeze at.

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I'm very lucky.

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It's just, I got to say,

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it becomes kind of hard to love your job

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when no one seems to
like you for doing it.

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All clearΞ The arcade is closedΞ

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ShoryukenΞ

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What a dayΞ You want to
head to Tappers, KenΠ

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If you're buying, buddy.

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Quitting timeΞ

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I don't know.

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Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way

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if things were different after work.

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But it is what it is.

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Good job, everyoneΞ

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Felix and the Nicelanders

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go hang out in their homes

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which he's just fixed,
and everyone, you know...

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They go to their homes, I go to mine

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[...]
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