Preview Subtitle for The Benefactor


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Here's what I wonder
about zombies.

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What happens if they can't get
any human flesh to eat?

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They can't starve to death--
they're already dead.

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You take this one.
I spent an hour last night on

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"How do vampires shave

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when they can't see
themselves in the mirror"?

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Well-groomed vampires
meet in pairs

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and shave each other--
case closed.

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Yeah, okay, so, zombies.

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I guess it depends
on the zombies, Raj.

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Are we talking slow zombies,
fast zombies?

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Like, in 28 Days,
if those zombies didn't eat,

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they starved.
You're thinking

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of 28 Days Later.

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28 Days is where
Sandra Bullock goes to rehab

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and puts the audience
into an undead state

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Hey, don't bag
on Sandra Bullock!

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You think it makes you
look cultured,

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but you just
come off as bitter.

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Oh, Dr. Siebert,
twelve o'clock.

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Why's the president
of the university

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slumming in the cafeteria?

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Perhaps he's emulating
Shakespeare's Henry V,

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who dressed as a commoner
and mingled among them,

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to find out how he was being
perceived by his subjects.

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Of course, if he'd

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have read any
of the 1,300 e-mails

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I've sent him on the subject
of his administration,

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he could have saved himself
the trouble.

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Or maybe he heard it's
Tator Tot Tuesday.

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That's why I'm here.

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Hey, there's
my favorite geniuses!

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How are we doing today?

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That depends--
how much longer

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do you plan on
fondling my shoulder?

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Sorry, Dr. Cooper, I forgot
you have a touch phobia.

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It's not a touch phobia,
it's a germ phobia.

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If you'd like to go put on
a pair of latex gloves,

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I'll let you check me
for a hernia.

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Yeah.

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So, listen, fellas, who's up
for a little party this Saturday night?

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Open bar, good eats, might
even be a few pretty girls.

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Sounds great!
I'm in!

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Hold on.

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Just because the nice man
is offering you candy,

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[...]
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