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1
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- Emmy, is it?
- Effy.

2
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You're a fucking assistant.

3
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Money, show me.

4
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:07,800
- Do you have enough money to pay the rent?
- Potentially.

5
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,320
I think I'm going to be
a stand-up comedian.

6
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,440
Fucking dyke.

7
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,320
You know something, don't you?

8
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,800
I would like to buy 300,000 shares
in Grey Levenson.

9
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,440
What the fuck are you doing?

10
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,920
- How much did you make for us today?
- 1.2 million.

11
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I've got fucking cancer!

12
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Sync.

13
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All...

14
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...the wonderful things
that London has to offer,

15
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and you all chose to come
to this shit-hole?

16
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,840
But, look, we've all come
dressed in the same hipster uniform

17
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,960
so as not to feel suicidally alone.

18
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,880
You, man. You've got it down.

19
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Lovely trilby, lovely skinny jeans.

20
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,005
I bet you're thinking,

21
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"My bollocks are fucking squashed,
yeah, but I feel cool."

22
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,880
"I feel cool."

23
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,600
See, you're all right as a bloke.

24
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,480
If you put on the right clothes,
you're fine, you're golden, right?

25
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,920
Not so much for us ladies.

26
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,120
No, we've created a whole other set
of rules to judge each other by.

27
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,280
See, now, I'm a feminist.

28
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,040
I go full bush. Yeah?

29
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I'm against the hairless ideals
put upon us by the media

30
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and, um... porn.

31
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:29,000
Um... but all that's
kind of changed recently,

32
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because, actually,
got a bit of the old cancer.

33
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Yes, I said cancer.
But don't worry, I'm fine.

34
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Cancer's not the point.

35
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,840
The point is the targeted
radiotherapy...

36
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... which has actually made me
completely fucking bald...

37
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,760
...you know, down, down in
dispatch.

38
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,898
And I don't know if this is a massive
"fuck you" to my feminist values,

39
00:01:55,018 --> 00:01:55,960
but I'm just gonna say it.

40
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,160
I feel really successful.

41
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,480
I feel like Rihanna
but without the bruises.

42
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,240
Um...

43
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,680
I mean, it's like bald vag
equals opportunity.

44
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,790
My snatch has just been offered,
you know,

45
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a three-album contract
and a perfume deal so...

46
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,160
I can't keep sitting
through this comedy shit.

47
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[...]
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