Preview Subtitle for Scream Queens


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Previously on Scream
Queens...


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Once again,
death came to Kappa House.


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I want everything Chanel has,

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and that includes you.

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If we're ever gonna find out
what happened to that baby,

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we have to figure out who that woman was.

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That got way out of hand.

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He's got to go.

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I think I figured
out what my problem is.


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I'm way too nice.

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As soon as Chanel Γ2's parents learned

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that their daughter's
dead body had been found,


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they went on a cruise to celebrate.

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That's how much they
hated this dead bitch.


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So when it fell to me

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to host an open casket funeral

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and fulfill her dying
wish of being cremated


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and shot into space, I
was like, "Yeah, okay."


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So stupid.

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This is what happens
to sneaky backstabbers.

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Just so you know,
I took all your clothes.


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It's too bad you had to die...

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before we found out
what ethnicity you are.


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Godspeed, Chanel Γ2.

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God, I loved porking you so much.

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Dearly beloved,

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we're gathered here today
because a backstabbing

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little bitch got exactly
what was coming to her.

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Chanel Γ2 literally never had my back.

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Whenever I wanted to strut across campus

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or down a long hallway
with the other Chanels,

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she'd always be like, "I have a colonicΞ"

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So instead of strutting across campus

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in a beautiful diamond formation,

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we were forced to strut across
campus in a triad formation,

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like a bunch of hobos, because Number Two

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didn't think she should
have to walk behind me.

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But whenever I find myself

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descending a staircase in heels,

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you can bet Number Two
was right there behind me

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with a helpful little nudge.

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Oops, sorry, Chanel.

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This dumb dead whore also

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used her high-ponied
wiles to seduce my man

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into rubbing uglies with her.

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[...]
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