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Previously on Scream Queens...

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Be careful. I'd really
like to kiss you again.

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I'm saving my energy
for Black Friday doorbusters

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tomorrow morning.

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I can prove that
you're the only person

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in this room we know for a fact
is a murderer.

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How about you do the honors?

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Dinner is served.

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Oh, the holidays.

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That festive time of year
where everyone's

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decked out
in their Christmas finest.

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The season of joy
and love and presents

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begins when the clock
strikes midnight.

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பூஙுௗ Time, time, time பூஙுௗ

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Ringing in the greatest
non-Chanelloween holiday

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Black Friday.

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"But Chanel", you're saying,

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"I thought you got all your
clothing hand-delivered

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by A-list designers."
True.

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But Black Friday isn't about me.

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பூஙுௗ பூஙுௗ

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Black Friday is about buying
deliberately cheap,

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totally forgettable
Christmas gifts for friends.

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The obvious cheapness
of the gift makes them question

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our friendship
and makes them way easier

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to manipulate
as they try desperately

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to get back on my good side.

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பூஙுௗ See what's become of me... பூஙுௗ

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Thank you, Chanel, thank you.

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பூஙுௗ All my possibilities... பூஙுௗ

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Is this black toilet paper?

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Yes. Merry Christmas,
Number Five.

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Then, once I've bought
a crap gift that will undermine

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their confidence
in our friendship,

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I reward myself
with an amazing gift for me.

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Amazing. A pair of mink
albino boy shorts.

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Purchased for me,

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by me.

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And there's truly
no better whale watching

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than a good ol' American
doorbuster.

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You know, the kind that
provides dangerous stampedes

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that dominate YouTube
for at least a week

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and make me laugh and laugh.

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[...]
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