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Since the last South Park you've waited four long
weeks to find out who the father of Eric Cartman is.
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Now, finally, the shocking truth
about Cartman's lineage
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will not be seen tonight so we can bring
you the following special presentation
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Now, get ready for Canada's
hottest action stars.
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Terrance and Phillip in the
HBC Movie of the Week,
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Ladies and gentlemen, before
you today sits a murderer.
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On the night in question, this monster
entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer,
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and struck him repeatedly in
the head with this hammer.
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That monster is sitting right over
there, and his name is Terrance.
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- Uh, Terrance, you farted in court.
- Yes Phillip, I'm making a case for our defense.
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All of these things link
Terrance to the murderÎ¨
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hair fibers, blood samples,
nail clippings, a piece of his shirt.
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A watch with his initials on it, a day
planner with the murder scheduled.
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a haiku called "Time to
Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer."
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"Dr. O'Dwyer, time to have your head
smashed in, with my new hammer."
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Terrance, you may be a famous
surgeon, but you're not God.
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Je accuse Terrance.
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- Would you like a monkey
claw PhillipÎ - Yes please.
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That's called the monkey
claw cause it feels like
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my colon is being ripped apart
by a thousand monkeys.
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The monkey claw is smelly.
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Come on, get a move-on, I ain't
getting a younger up here.
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My sentiments exactly Your Honor. I see from
your accent that you're Southern Canadian.
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- That is correct. - Good people of the jury,
my client Terrance is an innocent man.
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- Oh ho, Phillip, now you farted during the
closing argument. - I have, haven't I Terrance.
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Your Honor, the defense is trying
to make a mockery of this court.
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They think farts are
funny, but they're not.
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- Sustained. - Good people
of the jury, my client Terrance...
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...is no more a murderer
than you or me.
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He loves puppies and
hates mean things.
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Would a murderer go to the zoo
and feed animals like thisÎ
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Of course not. So, in summation,
find Terrance innocent, or else he'll kill you.
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Just kidding. The defense rests.
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God damnit, that isn't funnyÎž
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Madam Foreperson, have you reached a
verdict so we can get the hell out of hereÎ
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