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Many things had to happen,

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I had to suffer,

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you had to suffer so much.

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I existed because you existed.

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Now that I am at peace,
tied to my roots,

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I feel I no longer exist.

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BEFORE THE REVOLUTION

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''Those who have not lived the years

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before the revolution

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cannot understand

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the sweetness of life. ''Talleyrand

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A Sunday in April 1962,

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just before Easter, in Parma.

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And yet I came to you, Church.

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Pascal and the Greek Cantos
I held tight in my hand.

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''With new dreams
the Resistance brushed away

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the dream of the regions
federated in Christ

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and its burning
sweet nightingale...

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Damn those who do not know

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that this Christian faith
is bourgeois,

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in its every privilege,

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every surrender, every subjugation.

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That sin is nothing more

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than the crime of
disturbing daily certainties,

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hated for fear and aridity.

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That the Church

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is the ruthless heart of the State. ''

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As if in a dream I find myself
before the city's gates,

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the bastions, the toll gates,

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the bell towers like minarets,

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domes like hills of stone,

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the grey roofs, the open terraces,

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and below

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the streets, neighborhoods,
the squares,

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the Square,

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and through the middle
the river, the Parma,

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which divides the two cities,
the rich from the poor.

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And again the Square,

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so much in the city's center,
and yet so close to the fields,

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that on some nights
you can smell the hay.

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The square, which feels like
a walled arena when we're inside.

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There, I move amid figures
who are out of step, remote.

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Figures for whom only the
Church existed before,

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in whom Catholicism has suffocated
all desire for freedom.

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These are my equals,
the bourgeois of Parma,

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those of the midday Mass.

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I wonder if they we
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