Preview Subtitle for Chickens Come Home


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It's alive!

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- Man, Greg is really pissin' me off.
- Big Greg or little Greg?

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- Little Greg in Accounting.
- Yeah, he's a prick.

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To 25 years of marriage.

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To evil!

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To 30 days of sobriety.

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Oh, crap.

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When you wake up in the morning
what's the first thing that you see?

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It's your morning wood

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Morning wood

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Well, hello, morning wood!

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Billy, were you playing
with your morning wood?

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No.

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No need to be embarrassed, honey.
Your dad has morning wood, too.

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Look around your neighborhood

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Everybody has morning wood

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Hello, I'm Bruce Campbell...

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and I can't start my day
without waxing my morning wood.

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Morning wood.

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From the makers
of slow dance chubby.

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If Bill Gates offered you
a billion dollars...

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to be his ass slave for a year,
would you do it?

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No way! Never.

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Ass slave?
Are you kidding me?

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OK.
Mike, how much would it take...

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for someone
to run over your nuts?

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Two million dollars.

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Done!

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Now, I'm gonna
get the money, promise?

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Of course, dude.
You rule.

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It's heavier than I thought!

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I can do a nut transplant...

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but it'll cost exactly two million dollars.

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Oh, man.

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- Plus tax.
- Oh, man!

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Welcome home, dude.

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You're a legend to us, hombre,
but everyone else thinks you're nuts.

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Nuts! Get it?

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It took me a month
to come up with that.

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Oh, my God!

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Damn it, doctor,
what did you do to me?

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I'm sorry, Mike,
all we had to transplant...

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were the nuts of a serial killer.

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No!

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Idle Nuts,
starring Jessica Alba.

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You know, I'd want to attack you with
my nuts even if they weren't possessed.

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Thanks?

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Also starring Seth Green.

[...]
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